Study Says Maine is Totally Unprepared for an Alien Invasion
How can you be the home of Stephen King but completely unprepared for an inevitable space alien invasion?
According to a recent poll conducted by NJCasino.com and then published in the New York Post (which means it's absolutely reliable), Maine ranked 42nd out of 50 U.S. states in alien invasion preparedness.
The “experts” based likelihood of survival on population density, number and frequency of UFO sightings, geographical factors such as caves and bodies of water (remember, aliens are allergic to water), and defense outlets.
The good news is that Massachusetts ranked 3rd of all 50 humanoid statehoods for Martian vacation readiness. This should come as no surprise, as a respected professor in the Bay State is already hard at work studying what he believes to be alien materials found in a recent meteorite.
Unfortunately, other New England states didn’t score quite as well. Rhode Island came in 14th, with Vermont at 18 (if any aliens are reading, I suggest you avoid Vermont’s wooded Bermuda triangle). Connecticut ranked in the middle at 26.
You’d think, given New Hampshire’s endless obsession with UFOs, it would be ready to go when the green guys get here. But the Granite State ranked 38th overall.
Virginia ranked most likely to survive an alien invasion, with New York finishing 4th. Dead last? Nevada. Wow, what are the odds a gambling outlet from New Jersey would rank Vegas so low?
But hats off to Massachusetts. After all, they already fended off the long-fingered guys back in the '60s during a widely-reported abduction attempt that was featured in Unsolved Mysteries.