The 10 Commandments Of Driving In The County (HUMOR)
Life in the County is a wonderful life. This is a place where drivers and pedestrians alike, always follow the rules of the road. If you think I'm joking, well, you're right.
Here are the 10 Commandments of Driving in the County. So, ensure that you follow these commandments to the letter and don't break any of them.
**Disclaimer: This is only for humorous purposes, but certainly has some truth to it.
- DO NOT USE A TURN SIGNAL - People in the County are blessed with a special gift called 'mind reading.' Therefore, there is no need to overexert yourself and click on your turn signal when attempting to turn.
- DO NOT DRIVE THE SPEED LIMIT ON MAIN STREET - Make sure you drive at least 45 mph instead of 25 mph. What were the city road engineers thinking anyway?
- NO NEED TO STOP FOR RED LIGHTS - The folks in the County are completely mindful of your important schedule and would feel terrible if we expected you to stop at a red light and possibly miss your appointment or be late for work. So, go ahead, Speedy, we understand.
- SENIOR CITIZENS - If you're a senior citizen and driving a big ole' Cadillac out during peak drive times. Just make sure you do 15 mph everywhere you go. We know you're on retirement schedule and you'll get to where you're going when you get there. Taaaaaake.....Yooooooour......Tiiiiiiiiime!
- MILLENNIALS - We are completely O.K. with you texting and driving. After all, every text you get is urgent, right? Who cares if you're about to get into a wreck. At least you'll have a photo to load up on Snap Chat for all your friends to see, right?
- WHEN THE LIGHT TURNS GREEN, DON'T GO - Technically, you have the full green light time to get through the intersection. Go ahead and wrap up that phone call before you go through it. Those horns you hear honking behind you are probably just people supporting veterans or something.
- INTERSTATE 95 - We're all about safety first. Therefore, if you can't drive 90 mph in the fast lane, no sweat. Just go 55 mph. Better yet, just drive in the middle of the highway, that way you can ensure NO ONE is speeding down the highway.
- PARKING SPOTS - We understand that some smaller cars have big egos. Even though you're taking up two parking spots, because you have a Subaru, we know you want to know what it feels like to drive a Cadillac. So, go ahead and take up one, two, or even three parking spots because no one in the County needed that spot anyway, you big superstar, you!
- ALWAYS COME TO A COMPLETE STOP BEFORE TURNING RIGHT - This is a great idea especially if you have another driver behind you. You are totally worth people slamming hard on their breaks and skidding to an abrupt stop as to not kiss your back end when they can clearly see that the light is green. You are totally worth it, Hondo!
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT - JUST DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO - You're probably going to do that anyway. No one is as important as you. You have every right to show absolutely no consideration for life, property or the pursuit of road happiness. Your goal on the road is to give people a stroke and cause as much road-rage in the County as possible. Just keep on being you, You!